Sexual Experience: The First Time

Having sex for the first time can be wonderful, especially for those who are emotionally ready and protected against disease and unwanted pregnancy. But for others it may be a little dull, too short or even a little painful. Sex can enhance a caring relationship, but if you do experience problems, it may be an indication that you and your partner may need to take things more slowly or not have sex. Your body may be telling you something.

Possible Problems and Helpful Tips

If you plan to have sex, we encourage you to talk with a parent, guardian, doctor, teacher, older sister, older brother or someone else with knowledge that might help you to think through your decision. Talking with someone is also important if you have had sex already but are experiencing problems. We understand that talking about this subject may be uncomfortable for you. But having someone available who can answer your specific questions and who understands you can be a tremendous help. 

If you are looking for more basic information, we have listed below some common problems with sex and general suggestions.

Knowing the Body

Every person's body is different, and what pleases one person may not please another. Getting to know your partner's body before having sex is a crucial step for both of you to enjoy the experience. 

If you have skipped this step, it's not too late to go back. Ask your partner what he or she likes and dislikes. If you and your partner are still not sure, there are many books and Web sites with additional information on sensuality and physical pleasure. Put emphasis on getting to know your partner, not on sex.

Knowing the Mind

There are many nerves and erogenous zones in the body, but how your mind feels makes the most difference in whether sex is enjoyable. Picture two different scenarios. In the first, think about how you feel when someone you find attractive touches your arm. It can almost feel electric! But what if that touch comes from someone who makes you annoyed or uncomfortable? It likely gives you a feeling of "yuck," something you want to stop as soon as possible.

Same kind of touch, different state of mind. Sex is similar. If you or your partner is not ready for sex -- if you are worrying about pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), the relationship, trust or the test tomorrow -- it won't be that pleasurable for either of you. Your mind is the largest sense organ, and it's a barrier to a good time if it's just not the right time. Listen to your head and your feelings. If it doesn't feel right, don't convince yourself that it is. Is it not worth the risks of pregnancy, STIs, or hurting your relationship.

If intimacy is your goal, there are many things you can do to get closer to your partner without having sex. See our page about "not doing it" for more suggestions. You should not have sex if you aren't 100 percent sure that sex is right for you and/or your partner, if you are feeling pressured, or before you and your partner have discussed what sex will be like and how you will protect each other from disease and/or pregnancy.

Source: http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/firsttime.html

Some sex questions and answer

At Teen Advice we get lots of emails with questions about sex from teens, some are valid but we also get lots of questions that are so silly they scare us to death! Why do we freak when we read some of your email inquiries on the topic of sex? Because it scares us how much some sexually active teens DON’T know about sex, pregnancy and STDs. Silly or not some of these questions get asked so often that it makes us believe they are sincere. So, in keeping with our mission of keeping you informed and safe we have put together a list of the questions that have spooked us the most over the past 18 months with honest, to the point, no nonsense (and sarcasm free) answers.

Can I get pregnant the first time I have sex? 
- Yes, absolutely, most definitely! Every time you have sex you run the risk of getting pregnant. While various birth control methods can decrease your chances there is no 100% effective form of birth control and all are subject to user error. The only way to guarantee you will not get pregnant is to abstain.

What is meant by the phrase “unprotected sex?” 
- The term unprotected sex means sex without protection against pregnancy and/or STDs. It is having sex without using birth control and STD protection.

At what age is a guy able to get a girl pregnant? 
- Sex is not like driving or voting, there is no age at which it can happen. If you are a guy and you are having sex, regardless of your age, you can get a girl pregnant. Age is not a reliable way of determining if a guy is able to get a girl pregnant.

At what age do I have to start using birth control when having sex? 
- Again, this is not a matter of age. If you are sexually active you must use birth control and you should also use some sort of protection against STDs. Not all forms of birth control offer STD protection.

If a guy is a virgin can he get me pregnant? 
- Yes. Male virgins can get a girl pregnant and female virgins can become pregnant the first time they have sex.

What is meant by “penetration?” 
- Penetration refers to the penis being inside the vagina.

If a guy ejaculates near my privates but not inside me can I get pregnant? 
- In theory the answer to this question is yes. Anytime sperm gets anywhere near a girl’s privates she can become pregnant although it is less likely to happen without penetration. Pregnancy is less likely to occur under these circumstances but it is possible.

If a guy ejaculates on my underwear/over my clothing can I get pregnant? 
- In theory the answer to this question is yes. Anytime sperm gets anywhere near a girl’s privates she can become pregnant although it is less likely to happen without penetration. Pregnancy is less likely to occur under these circumstances but it is possible. Clothing is very porous and is not considered a barrier method of birth control.

If the girl doesn't have an orgasm can she still get pregnant? 
- Yes, a female’s orgasm is not a necessary part of becoming pregnant and there is enough sperm in the pre-ejaculatory fluid of males to cause a pregnancy.

Can I get pregnant from giving oral sex? 
- No you cannot get pregnant from giving or receiving oral sex but you can get an STD including HIV/AIDS.

Can I get pregnant from receiving oral sex? 
- No you cannot get pregnant from giving or receiving oral sex but you can get an STD including HIV/AIDS.

Is there a position we can have sex in that will guarantee I won’t get pregnant? 
- No, there is not a safe-sex position. You can get pregnant from every possible sexual position that involves genital-to-genital or genital-near-genital contact.

Is it true that you can’t get pregnant if you have sex in water? 
- No, this is not true. Water is not effective birth control and does not wash away sperm.

If I douche right after sex will it prevent pregnancy? 
- No, douching will not prevent pregnancy and some studies suggest it may actually increase your chances of contracting an STD.

If I have sex on my period am I safe from pregnancy? 
- No, pregnancy can occur during your period.

Are two condoms better than one for protection from pregnancy/STDs? 
- No, two condoms offer LESS protection as the friction between them makes breakage more likely. Only use one and use it exactly as directed on the package.

Source: http://teenadvice.about.com/od/sexuallyactive/a/sillysexqa.htm

Preparation before sex

One of the most important thing for lovers to remember before sex is hygiene. No-one wants to go to bed with a smelly partner.

Your breath is an important thing to consider when in bed with someone. You are in close contact with that person throughout the session, and if your breath smells like a dustbin, you can be certain your night of lovemaking will be cut short.

The Kama Sutra suggests that ‘sweet breath will make for a positive sensual relationship’. It goes on to emphasise ‘good oral hygiene’, and ‘a good diet’. Drinking more than 5 cups of water a day will help perfume your breath. Don’t forget to brush your teeth and tongue thoroughly before and after sex.

But hygiene does not have to be a solitary affair. Why not take a bath or a shower together in preparation for a night of sex. Bubble baths are great too, and don’t forget the candles.

Source: http://www.health24.com/sex/Tips_techniques/1253-1254,32821.asp